Lessons from My Father’s Life Beyond the Battlefield

Maria Hayat | April 16, 2024

On the 16th of April 2023, we lost Qomandan Muslem Hayat. His departure was a loss for us all as we painfully witnessed a lung disease take away an individual who was indeed one of a kind. A beacon of wisdom; someone who devoted his life to his country, family, and friends. To many he was a great friend, brother, and mentor. Known as Qomandan (Commander), his title remained within him for the rest of his life, even after the war, as he continued to be of aid to everyone whom he crossed paths with. However, I was privileged enough to call him my father, baba jan. But he was my not just my father, he was in fact my best friend, role model and biggest supporter. My dad taught me many things in life, but above all he showcased what it meant to be a true son to our homeland and always giving back to our country – wherever you are in the world. My father demonstrated this throughout his life from just the ripe age of 17 when he took a solo bus trip journey to Panjshir to join the Mujahideen against the Soviets right up until his final days on his hospital bed where he was still organising money to be sent to our people in Afghanistan. My father is someone who we can all look up to; we may have lost him, but the fond memories and heroic stories will remain to live amongst us!

My father’s selfless, generous, and respected character always made him profound. I realised this just two days after my father passed away in his funeral. He truly was a people’s person. People of all walks of life were in his funeral; his ‘kharijee’ friends, fellow comrades, affluent businesspeople, families that he helped refuge from Afghanistan post- Taliban handover, our watandar market vendors, dare I say there were also Taliban present! The more I grew up, I had the glory of learning more about my dad’s rich history from the legend himself. I noticed it was in his inherent nature from the war days to nurture and be of service not only to his country; but to his people. He would use his connections to help those in residing in the mountains to new refugees who arrived in Europe. My father even once recalled the story of Ahmad Shah Massoud telling my father off for the time when he was on duty to guard President Najibullah and you could hear my father making the Communist President laugh. This just reflected how my father treated everyone with the same level of care, love, and attention regardless of their wealth or place in society. His humble demeanour made him the coolest dad: seeing the tanks in my hometown Jangalak that he once ordered around, attending embassy events growing up, writing his messages (as his unpaid personal assistant) to Hollywood actors, Presidents, you name it. Now that remains are the precious memories that everyone has of my dad and how he made an impact, no matter how big or small, in so many different people’s lives that I now have had the privilege of hearing about.

My father’s legacy started during his teens from the moment he joined the anti-communist protests. My father turned to his older relative Ahmad Shah Massoud who welcomed my father as they embarked on a journey that shifted the history of our country. Many times, my father fainted in the mountains due to the high altitude, but he kept going for his country and people. Under Amer Sahib, my father became a Qomandon – the title that remained with him for life, training hundreds and thousands of sons who were ready to give up their lives to protect our motherland from intruders. Throughout my life, my father told me stories about his Jihad. One story that struck to me in particular was about the summer of 1985 when my father was the Commander of 30 Mujahideen soldiers who were off to Salang to change the pipelines that supplied the Soviets fuel. After my father arrived with his soldiers, they were instantly bombed and attacked day and night. The Mujahideen were under a lot of pressure but after a few days my father succeeded with his soldiers. Massoud asked my father “how did you do it?” and my father explained that in Salang, they didn’t face Russian soldiers, they faced local communists soldiers under Najib’s government looking after the base. My father took the locals in as prisoners of war whilst replacing the petrol from the pipelines. But it didn’t stop there. My father then released the prisoners and gave them travel money to return to their families and children. My father told Massoud that the struggle was to fight and undermine the Soviets - not the prisoners who were from the same country as us. History was made as my father’s success at changing the pipelines meant that the Mujahideen were relieved from the pressure of the Soviet’s aircraft bombardment for a time being.

His impressive stories don’t just end there and nor did my father’s services to his country end after the wars. Given that my father knew Afghanistan and Panjshir from the back of his hand, he provided any assistance using his expertise as a career for the rest of his life whether it was serving as the military attaché diplomat for the Afghan Embassy here in London, or aiding electricity projects on the outskirts of Afghanistan or providing security for NGO/charity organisations. Instead of opting for a political role in the government or landing himself in a corrupt profession – my father committed and dedicated himself to his country until his last breath. He truly was a father to us all. My four sisters and brother can say wholeheartedly that he really was the best father. From a young age, my father encouraged us to follow our dreams and passions – luckily for him I was obsessed with Afghanistan! My father did whatever it took to cultivate my passion: organising work experience for me in my summers in Kabul where I saw NGOs work in practise, TOLOnews live in action, and he even ensured that I saw the schools that were built in impoverished areas and meet the incredible pupils. This inspired me to keep going with my studies tailored towards my future for Afghanistan as I am now studying Masters of Human Rights Law. My activism from London grew with my opinion pieces, my father was the first to share them on his Facebook and send to his friends. My father was my biggest cheerleader (after introducing me to his friends as his personal assistant) and I am where I am in life because of him. This past year without my father has been excruciating. Sometimes it’s the little things that remind me of my father; the sound of Afghanistan International news, his classic Ralph Lauren cap, the beloved Facebook app, the list can go on!

Our notable history should inspire us all to not give up on our country. If there is one page we can take from my father’s book, it is to always give back to our country – no matter where you are or what you do. Our soldiers are holding down the fort right now whilst our country remains occupied by the Taliban, and we must all complete our duty to raise awareness about the ongoing atrocities happening right now in our homeland. Just as my dad continued serving for his country, even from outside of Afghanistan, we ought to do all the same until we see a liberated and free Afghanistan once again. When I think and look at Afghanistan, I see the efforts of my father and our people who have fought and continue to advocate for our liberation. My father touched many hearts and lives; we all feel his physical absence, but his legacy will always live on as we continue his values!